The Almighty called before His throne all the angels, first among whom were His archangels, Gabriel, Michael and Satan. God raised the divine middle finger - from whence there was a blinding flash of light.

Even the archangels had to avert their eyes. Then from that light condensed countless suns and worlds, streaming forth into the void as a boiling sea of anarchy and chaos. And The Almighty said, "Behold the Creation. Watch and tell Me what you observe."

For a long time the angels watched in adoration and puzzlement. Finally, Satan spoke. "My Lord, the chaos is disappearing. The suns have assembled into large, swirling formations I shall call galaxies. And the worlds have collected, each around its sun, into smaller formations I shall call orreries. They no longer collide and destroy each other, but move in harmony. How is this possible without the guidance of Thy divine hand?"

"By Natural Law", God replied.

"And what is its purpose?", asked Satan.

"You shall see", The Almighty assured him.

The lesser angels departed, most to continue their choir duties. But exempted from mandatory choir participation, the three archangels guardedly discussed the Creation, though none could fathom its purpose. Finally, Satan spoke openly, "Frankly, my friends, I do not care what is its purpose. I much preferred the old void. It was a restful place to go to escape the interminable noise of the choirs. This new void is so full of swirling activity that one cannot rest there for even a moment!"

Hearing Satan's criticism, The Almighty reassembled the heavenly hosts. "Some among you have questioned the wisdom of the Creation." God then reached forth the divine middle finger and pointed to a small, blue world orbiting a small yellow sun. And The Almighty said, "Behold Life! Watch and tell Me what you observe."

For a long time the angels again watched in adoration and puzzlement. Finally, Satan spoke. "My Lord, this world is now infested with countless creatures. They spawn and grow and eat and excrete and die. And they change! Each generation is slightly different from the prior, better adapted to the world they infest! How is this possible without the guidance of Thy divine hand?"

"By Natural Selection", God replied.

"And what is its purpose?", asked Satan.

"You shall see", The Almighty assured him.

The lesser angels departed, but again the three Archangels remained behind to study the infested world. And again it was Satan who spoke openly. "My friends, this Life seems a very messy business, a wretched chaos. Each creature's purpose is to inflict pain or death upon some other creature. It is a sordid anarchy, a miasma of stench and misery. Can the purpose of the Creation be to demonstrate that chaos begets order begets a worse chaos? A very sorry purpose this would be! Fortunately, unlike an angel, none of these poor creatures has a mind to comprehend the futility of its existence."

Hearing Satan's criticism, The Almighty again reassembled the heavenly hosts. "Some among you have questioned the purpose of Life." God then reached forth the divine middle finger and pointed to that same, infested world. And The Almighty said, "Behold Humanity! Watch and tell Me what you observe."

This time Satan answered rather quickly. "My Lord, there are new creatures infesting this world. They are like angels in that they have minds to comprehend their own existence. It is a poor sort of mind, but with it, they are able to kill any of the other creatures. Yet, even with this mind, they cannot escape the general suffering. They know happiness, but only fleetingly, and with the full knowledge that it shall pass.

The smallest of the creatures afflict them mercilessly with disease. The world upon which they live sometimes shakes, or erupts in flames and flowing rock, or spawns maelstroms of wind and water, inflicting more death and misery upon those few who escape the diseases.

They even inflict death and misery upon each other. But their poor mind is not without some ability. They comprehend that a Creation requires a Creator. They call the Creator by many names - Jehovah, Shiva, Allah and others. They understand that the Creator must be All Powerful and thus could have prevented all their sufferings. Yet, they worship the Creator. They sing His praises. They consistently call Him the All Loving, the All Merciful. It is ...er... it is ... "

"Yes, it is truly amusing", God replied with a chuckle. He then reached forth that divine middle finger once more and touched the small yellow sun. It exploded and incinerated the infested little world. "I am not without mercy", God said and smiled.

©James S. Freeman, 2001
(With a nod to Mark Twains's "Letters from the Earth")

OR: Find out how the "Fickle Finger of God" became Jesus Christ's sword! The Joke's unlikely END!