There are hundreds,

perhaps thousands of

Knock - Knock Jokes!

Updated and repaired Aug. 2, 2014


Having been quite successful with the

keys to heaven and hell as Peter's fish

hooks (background) for Catholics, and the

"Pearls before swine" for Baptists, Jesus

Christ, Time/Space Voyager, able to remain invisible all

the time if He wished to, decided to participate in the

Knock-Knock Joke fad!...The date...the early 1840s!

It's not much fun to play a joke on a "good sport" with a "sense of humor" chooses instead people with inflated egos overawed with a sense of their own importance...The Adventists making fun of Ellen White's visions, accusing her of mesmerism and self-inflicted delusions seemed to be a good target...And it turned out to be one of the celestial Joker's most impressive successes! 

After 150 years, Seventh-day Adventists haven't caught on yet that they have been "Knock-knocked"!

This is a good Seventh-day Adventist picture used for years by R&H on everything from Sabbath-school cards to big books. 

The subject is Jesus "knock-knocking" on someone's door...the home-owner will peek through the window, and tell this Hebrew speaking stranger to go to a synagogue!

"Knock-knock"..."Who's there?" 


 "Yeshua Who?" 

"Yeshua ben Miriam!"

"Who sent you here?"

"Adonai Elohainu Melech ha-olam!"

"Go away...we don't want any...we're good Christians at this house!"

Jesus described how He intended to do these jokes, like the "Knock-knock" joke, 1800 years before He did it!

Part in Mark 4:34 "...without a parable spake he not unto them: (the undescerning crowds) and when they 

were alone, he expounded all things to his disciples." Gospel Pesher shows "his disciples" to actually mean John Mark, His personal scribe -- who wrote down all these parables and "jokes" for the enjoyment of the other 11 disciples, (and us, of course!) 

The situation was very much the equivalent of Ellen White, His Messenger or Scribe, and the crowd of tormenting, fault-finding critics, her "Pharisees". 

They failed to realize they were not here just dealing with a frail teen-ager with a third-grade education, but with a superb stand-up comic with 1800 years of experience with "crowds" of all sizes. 

To fool a few Adventists would be a "snap" and those who followed them would not be able to change without "thinking", and crowds don't think!

......A few verses before, in Mark 4:25 is the "goal" or "punch-line" of the Joke....the part that will cause onlookers to laugh at Adventists if indeed the "Knock-knock" joke is successful! ..."For he that hath (the Pentecostals--60 years later) to him shall be given: and to him that hath not (the humor-less, intolerant Adventists), from him shall be taken even that which he hath." 

In March of 1849 the trap was set.

From then on Ellen White's visions changed to dupe those who had earned the wrath of Jesus and doubted Ellen White's visions and accused her of mesmerism and self delusion.

Jesus had already accomplished what He had to do in Ellen White's first few dreams and visions....promised the "man with the dirt-brush" would arrive later to "clean up the mess"....http:dirtbrs1.htm, 

given the scriptural support for the later Pentecostal movement..http:dirtbrs3.htm

prophesied once more the restoration of the Nation of Israel in more explicit terms than in Isaiah 66 ...http:crisis7.htm, (compare with) http:crisis7.htm, and in Matthew 24....http:mat24_3.htm

He had even given that section of Great Controversy chapter 40 that when subjected to Gospel Pesher prophesies the same restoration of Isreal to Statehood. 

The way was now clear to "reward" the critics of Ellen White (and the later Pentecostals) with the cherished idea that Adventists, and they only, would judge the world, and even angels, for 1000 years....and set them up to be the victims of the "Knock-knock" joke! One of Jesus's best comedies, comparable to swallowing camels!

Jesus had warned Sister Ellen (and the people that listened to her) in a vision at Rocky Hill, Connecticut on January 5, 1949, about the WRATH of GOD (actually the wrath of Jesus!). 

Four angels would administer this WRATH, which would come as punishments named the seven last plagues. 

Although the 144,000 were delivered from the time of Jacob's Trouble...another group was seen in this vision with large letters on their garments spelling out "Thou art weighed in the balances and found wanting." 

In the next scene (Ellen's visions were often like multi-media presentations) the four angels were commanded to "Hold! Hold! Hold! Hold" (a "Hold!" for each angel) until the servants of God are sealed in their forheads." 

Ellen was warned the angels were "holding" but that their grip was loosening on the four winds and the seven last plagues."

Documentation can be found for all this in EARLY WRITINGS of ELLEN G. WHTE pg 36-38.

Because the SEVEN LAST PLAGUES are here "projected" as being in the immediate future in 1849, Adventists have never assigned them to the past, as they have most of the other events of Revelation. 

The Gospel Pesher shows the events of the SEVEN LAST PLAGUES occurred in 71-74 AD at the siege and fall of MASADA. jesind6.htm

......Since I do show on this Web-Site the meaning of the 4 beasts of Ezekiel and the 4 beasts of Rev. 4 and the 4 horses of Rev. 6 to all be related to the 4 "Ages" which encompass Bible History...Taurus, Aries, Pisces, and Aquarius...I will now say the 4 "winds" are also related to these 4 "Ages"....

the "Wind from God" that moved upon the face of the waters at Creation 4000 BC... 

The "Wind from God" that dried up Noah's Flood about 2000 BC...

The "Wind from God" that began the Church Age at Pentecost about 33 AD...

and finally, the "Wind from God" that dries up the "Sea" of Pisces and brings on the Age of the Holy Spirit (the Water-man) (Rev.10) 1948-2000 AD.

The point here is that Ellen White and her listeners are being intentionally MISLEAD...

All but one of these "winds" had already blown by the time this vision was given, and the seven plagues had fallen!

Evidently by March, 1849 the WRATH of GOD towards E.G.White's tormentors could no longer be controlled, and some WINDS were allowed to blow (symbolic of the "Winds of God" that changed the 4 Ages)...the "Age of Adventism" was about to be radically changed!

If they disliked Ellen White's visions (mesmerism) and her shouting "Glory" in public meetings, and praying down the Holy Spirit on whole rooms full of people (Topsham, Maine..Rocky Hill, Connecticut)...

Then Jesus would SHUT the DOOR on such activities FOREVER as far as Adventism was concerned! 

The WIND BLEW and the door SLAMMED SHUT (common in wind-storms).....

This is given a long, devious, and totally misleading explanation in the vision of March 24, 1849...(related in Early Writings page 42 and 43.)

This SHUT DOOR policy is immediately followed by the just as devious and misleading WET BLANKET PROPHECY....phrased as follows...."Satan is now using every device in this sealing time to keep the minds of God's people from the present truth, and to  cause them to waver . ...

I saw a covering that God was drawing over His people to protect them in the time of trouble ..."

 ...Meaning: the only one "in trouble" was Ellen White, because she possessed the Holy Spirit, talked personally with Jesus, got lots of messages from Him, had companionship with angels, was happy all the time, had visions and dreams...

and was "in trouble" whenever she related what she "saw", but particularly so when she told others what they were doing that displeased Jesus!

......Adventists would be "protected" from this "trouble" for 150 years, and SO IT WAS! ..

When Jesus SLAMS a DOOR, it cannot be opened! Rev. 3:7 last part. (Or was it the WIND of the HOLY SPIRIT that SLAMMED the DOOR SHUT...."All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto (Adventists); but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto (Adventists)." Matthew 12:31.

You are Jesus, maker of Parables, and able to remain invisible...These people are giving you more trouble than Israel gave Moses! 

What NEXT? You arrange for some "knocking" to occur in New York State and you say to...

young Ellen Harmon, now about 20, who will pass the words along without question, without analysis, and without doubting...because she doesn't want to get frowned on again!.....

"I saw that the mysterious knocking in New York and other places was the power of Satan, and that such things would be more and more common, clothed in a religious garb so as to lure the deceived to greater security, and to draw the minds of God's people, if possible, to those things, and cause them to doubt the teachings and power of the Holy Ghost." (Already this is enough to make her hearers cautious about anything but Ellen White's writings, and doubtful of anything like her experience in anyone else!....)

......But to make absolutely CERTAIN no one EVER removes the WET BLANKET (of "Protection") nor tries to OPEN the DOOR to the Holy Spirit (that no Adventist can now open)...these further words were necessary!

......E.W. pg 43, 44 "I saw that Satan was working through agents in a number of ways...He was at work through ministers who have reject ed the truth and are given over to strong delusions to believe a lie that they might be damned." (Now Adventists will not only mistrust all other ministers but their own, but even their own that don't preach what Ellen White is here revealing for them to preach....the LOCKING KEY is turning, turning in the DOOR that can never be opened...It is a PRISON door, but no one will see it for what it is, until the "man with the dirt-brush" arrives to call a prison a prison!

......"While they were preaching or praying, some would fall prostrate and helpless, not by the power of the Holy Ghost, but by the power of Satan breathed upon these agents, and through them to the people...."

(On and on the advice goes, to strengthen an already strong prejudice her hearers had against miraculous manifestations of any kind (other than those displayed repeatedly by Ellen White herself). .

..No one saw this as a logical contradiction or against good sense

 ...She, the Pentecostal prophet 60 years before the Pentecostal movement was here making sure NONE of her listeners would EVER be attracted to that movement when it did appear (as prophesied!)

Another good Adventist R&H picture by Harry Anderson...Very Famous...has appeared on front page of Tabloids twice!

"Knock-knock!" "Who's there?" No answer. Look out 37th floor window. Large object that looks like Jesus...As it knocks the building shakes. Must be Satan! A riot as everyone races for the elevators!

Actually, the Bible (plain text of Isaiah 66:7-10) and the Pesher of Matt 24 and Ellen White's visions show that Christ DID "knock-knock" on the United Nations (pictured above), and cause the "powers of heaven" to be "shaken" (the New Age arrive early in 1948) E.W. pg 41"Pesher" Israel became a Nation by mandate of the UN, middle of May, 1948.

There is a third "knock-knock" picture (this one by John Steel and owned by PPPA since 1985, that has been seen by thousands of Adventist youth in "God Cares" book II....Jesus is here the Essene "Salesman"(dressed in white)...The little girl looks interested!

Perhaps she goes to a "Celebration" church!

One must assume that if Jesus is still around, invisible or visible, in this the 21st century, He must look over the shoulder of those artists who paint His picture, as He looks over my shoulder as I work on this Web-Site...The picture above shows signs of this...the "girl with the red dress" was a prominent feature in the "Schindler's List" movie, and in the Bible Codes I discuss on the web page shindlers list...Here the meaning is that Jesus is truly aware of His people's suffering in the Holocaust.

For another of Jesus's "Noknok Jokes" The Subway to Hell!  Click Here

 Get out of the Fish-Tank!... 

Become a Minister!

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