The modern conversion of Jesus Christ [Hazrat Issa]

to Islam!

This world-shaking NEWS REPORT was

not carried by the Associated Press,

as it obviously should have been,

but by a rather obscure NEWS source

called "the ONION" -- which is

published by Three Rivers Press,

in NYC © 2001 by The Onion, Inc.
Fortunately for the glorious cause of Islam, spreading knowledge of the tender regard of Allah for the human race around the world on September 11, 2001 [911]--

none of the blood, guts, debris, or falling airplane parts dedicated to Allah fell on "the ONION" headquarters, allowing this NEWS REPORT so important to Muslims everywhere to now be released HERE!

To learn more about this marvelous conversion -