of the World's Population knows little if anything about Jesus Christ and even
fewer think of him as a humorist or Comic!
on this page we'll consider some of his
FISH STORIES ARE OFTEN HUMOROUS, AND
THOSE CONNECTED WITH JESUS ARE NO EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE, WHEN PROPERLY
UNDERSTOOD -- HOWEVER, LIKE HIS HELL JOKES, MIDDLE AGES MONKS, PRIESTS,
NUNS, AND POPES HAVE TENDED TO TAKE THEM ALL LITERALLY AND SERIOUSLY,
SPOILING THE FUN.
TAKE NOW THE ONE ABOUT
PETER FINDING A COIN IN A FISH'S MOUTH
Matthew 17:24 "And when they were come to Capernaum, they that
received tribute money came to Peter, and said, Doth not your master pay
26 "---Jesus saith
unto him --- 27--lest we offend them, go thou to the sea, and cast an
hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his
mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money: that take, and give unto them for me
||This is a complicated
Joke and also a prophecy -- The Age of Pisces was beginning, and Peter
as the "Great Fisherman" of that Age, would obtain coins from Catholics
("Peter's Pence") to build a great cathedral bearing his name.
Saint Peter's cathedral, the central structure of the Vatican! That
Jesus knew this is the miracle, not the supposed catch.
BUT Jesus also knew that Peter would
not be able to collect the coins he needed to build that cathedral in the
Middle Ages UNLESS he had something to offer.
So, on another
occasion, he "gave" Peter the keys to heaven, which also implied that he had
the keys to HELL also. Improved upon by the Catholic church, who added
the keys to PURGATORY.
CHRISTIAN FISH +
"As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a there,
and fish laid thereon, and bread.
Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now caught.
Jesus saith unto them, Come and
dine. And none of the disciples
durst ask him, Who art thou? knowing that it was the Lord."
"Now when Simon
Peter heard that it was
the Lord, he girt his fisher's coat unto him (for he was naked,) and did
cast himself into the sea."
21:9,10,12, - 7 B
Once we separate these
verses from the rest of the chapter and display them by themselves, as I
have above, we have a word picture that would be very familiar to the
Greeks and Romans who were some or even perhaps most of the readers for
which "John" was writing this chapter. These
readers were used to reading or hearing Greek and Roman mythology, and the
picture is of a famous Greek and Roman god, the god
Poseidon, god of
Hades and of the sea. The symbolic picture, performed in
pantomime, is of Jesus as "Poseidon
" transferring his power
over both the sea and Hades to Peter, who will be in charge over both
these areas for 2000 years, while Jesus ascends to Heaven, to be in charge
there for the same period of time --- the Age of
The key phrases in the texts, those which clearly conveyed a picture of
to John's Pagan or ex-pagan listeners, are as follows ---
The fire of coals of John 21:9 --- Poseidon
with his fiery trident, pictured above, had the power to turn rocks on the
shore of the sea, (or in Hades) red hot -- certainly hot enough to cook
cooking on the fire of John 21:9 -- Poseidion
as "god of the sea" had power over all its creatures -- the
had no recourse but to obey him, thus the fish jumped out of the sea onto
the fire at Jesus' command (as Poseidon). This answers our previous
speculation about what type of fishing pole or hooks or lures that Jesus
used (and also how he knew where the fish were to be found in this and all
the other "fish stories" in the other three Gospels).
The phrase -- "And none of the disciples durst ask him, Who are
thou?" of verse 12 B. The unasked question is "Are
It's reflection is in another Gospel story in Luke 8:24 B and 25 B-- the
calming of a storm by Jesus (also
as Poseidon) "The
he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they
ceased, and there was calm. ----And they (the disciples) being afraid
wondered (Poseiden was
a god who stimulated FEAR),
saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he (as
Poseiden, not a mere man)
commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him." (as
the picture of Poseidon above clearly shows!)
Note that Luke as a Greek or Roman would be as familiar with Poseidon
mythology as was John.
is pictured as
in verse 7 B, and Poseidon is always or almost always
pictured naked. It is Peter who drags the net full of fish to the
shore, showing that Jesus has now transferred his "Poseidon
powers" to him. The fish's fate is to be threatened with
all throughout those 2000 years, and then be burned up as the
"New Age" of "Aquarius" dawns. The
AND THE SYMBOLIsM
here indicates THAT EVEN
GOSPEL IS NOW OUT
MORE JESUS JOKES-
OR CLICK ON ANY HOT LINK BELOW!
THE BLIND PROPHETESS WAS TOTALLY UNABLE TO SEE THE
POINT IN JESUS' "HELL JOKES"
ELLEN G. WHITE
QUESTION: Dear Sister White,
What happens to those
who do not accept
Christ as their Savior?
He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that BELIEVETH NOT is
condemned already, because he hath not believed in the NAME of the only begotten
Son of God." Condemned to what? Many
Bible texts well known to
CONDEMNED TO BURNING IN HELL FOREVER!
ANSWER: "WHEN THEY DIE, THEY WILL ALL BE SLEEPING IN THEIR GRAVES, THERE TO
REMAIN FOR 1000 YEARS, WAITING FOR JESUS AND THE ADVENTISTS IN HEAVEN TO DECIDE
THEIR ETERNAL DESTINY!"
JACK CHICK COMICS
IS PRIMARILY FOR ANGELS THAT
SINNED BEFORE NOAH'S GREAT FLOOD
(1 PETER 3:19-20), PURGATORY
OR "LAKE OF FIRE" IS
NOW AWAITING YOU, (REV.
20:14,15) DEPENDING ON WHETHER
YOU ARE CATHOLIC OR
HOWEVER, SATAN GETS
SPECIAL TREATMENT, HE GETS TO
BURN (SOMEWHERE) DAY AND
NIGHT FOREVER AND EVER! (REV.
have heard that it was said by
them of old time, Thou shalt not
kill; and whosoever shall kill
shall be in danger of the
22 "But I say unto you, That
whosoever is angry with
his brother without a cause
shall be in danger of the
judgment: and whosoever shall
say to his brother, Ra-ca, shall
be in danger of the council: but
whosoever shall say, Thou
fool, shall be in danger of hell
"---whosover looketh on a woman
to LUST AFTER HER hath committed
adultery with her already in his
29 "And if thy right eye
offend thee, pluck it out,
and cast it from thee; for
it is profitable for thee that
one of thy members should
perish, and not that thy whole
body should be cast into
(ONE OF THE "JOKER'S" MANY