Batman and Robin, THE JOKER, and the

BLIND PROPHETESS

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 THE HUMOR of JESUS

 Most of the World's Population knows little if anything about Jesus Christ and even fewer think of him as a humorist or Comic!

 

on this page we'll consider some of his

FISH STORIES

FISH STORIES ARE OFTEN HUMOROUS, AND THOSE CONNECTED WITH JESUS ARE NO EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE, WHEN PROPERLY UNDERSTOOD -- HOWEVER, LIKE HIS HELL JOKES, MIDDLE AGES MONKS, PRIESTS, NUNS, AND POPES HAVE TENDED TO TAKE THEM  ALL LITERALLY AND SERIOUSLY, SPOILING THE FUN.

   TAKE NOW THE ONE ABOUT

PETER FINDING A COIN IN A FISH'S MOUTH

   Matthew 17:24 "And when they were come to Capernaum, they that received tribute money came to Peter, and said, Doth not your master pay tribute?"

     26 "---Jesus saith unto him --- 27--lest we offend them, go thou  to the sea, and cast an hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money: that take, and give unto them for me and thee."

This is a complicated Joke and also a prophecy -- The Age of Pisces was beginning, and Peter as the "Great Fisherman" of that Age, would obtain coins from Catholics ("Peter's Pence") to build a great cathedral bearing his name.   Saint Peter's cathedral, the central structure of the Vatican! That Jesus knew this is the miracle, not the supposed catch.
FRIED FISH!
  BUT Jesus also knew that Peter would not be able to collect the coins he needed to build that cathedral in the Middle Ages UNLESS he had something to offer.

    So, on another occasion, he "gave" Peter the keys to heaven, which also implied that he had the keys to HELL also.  Improved upon by the Catholic church, who added the keys to PURGATORY.

CHRISTIAN FISH + HELLFIRE =

FRIED FISH!

JOHN 21:9,10,12

      "As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a there, and fish laid thereon, and bread.

      Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now  caught.

     Jesus saith unto them, Come and dine.  And none of the disciples durst ask him, Who art thou?  knowing that it was the Lord."  

JOHN 21:7 B

      "Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher's coat unto him (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea."

JOHN 21:9,10,12, - 7 B

     Once we separate these verses from the rest of the chapter and display them by themselves, as I have above, we have a word picture that would be very familiar to the Greeks and Romans who were some or even perhaps most of the readers for which "John" was writing this chapter.    These readers were used to reading or hearing Greek and Roman mythology, and the picture is of a famous Greek and Roman god, the god Poseidon, god of Hades and of the sea.    The symbolic picture, performed in pantomime, is of Jesus as "Poseidon " transferring his power over both the sea and Hades to Peter, who will be in charge over both these areas for 2000 years, while Jesus ascends to Heaven, to be in charge there for the same period of time --- the Age of Pisces.

      The key phrases in the texts, those which clearly conveyed a picture of Poseidon to John's Pagan or ex-pagan listeners, are as follows ---

    The fire of coals of John 21:9 --- Poseidon with his fiery trident, pictured above, had the power to turn rocks on the shore of the sea, (or in Hades) red hot -- certainly hot enough to cook fish.

     The fish cooking on the fire of John 21:9 -- Poseidion as "god of the sea" had power over all its creatures -- the fish had no recourse but to obey him, thus the fish jumped out of the sea onto the fire at Jesus' command (as Poseidon).  This answers our previous speculation about what type of fishing pole or hooks or lures that Jesus used (and also how he knew where the fish were to be found in this and all the other "fish stories" in the other three Gospels).

    The phrase -- "And none of the disciples durst ask him, Who are thou?" of verse 12 B.  The unasked question is "Are you Poseidon?" It's reflection is in another Gospel story in Luke 8:24 B and 25 B-- the calming of a storm by Jesus (also as Poseidon) "The he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was calm. ----And they (the disciples) being afraid wondered (Poseiden was a god who stimulated FEAR), saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he (as Poseiden, not a mere man) commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him." (as the picture of Poseidon above clearly shows!)  Note that Luke as a Greek or Roman would be as familiar with Poseidon mythology as was John. 

     Simon Peter is pictured as naked in verse 7 B, and Poseidon is always or almost always pictured naked.  It is Peter who drags the net full of fish to the shore, showing that Jesus has now transferred his "Poseidon powers" to him.   The fish's fate is to be threatened with (HELL) fire all throughout those 2000 years, and then be burned up as the "New Age" of "Aquarius" dawns.   The ultimate "Fish Fry".

     

MY ANSWER:

NEVER!

AND THE SYMBOLIsM here indicates THAT EVEN PAUL'S GOSPEL IS NOW OUT of date!

MORE JESUS JOKES- Click Here!

OR CLICK ON ANY HOT LINK BELOW!

Je Suis Charlie

My Explanation

Jack Chick Comics

Deadly Serious!

Apostle Paul

Deceive Gentiles!

Swallow a

Camel -- Jesus

 

Fish Stories

Jesus Humor

 

Kiss my (foot)

Jesus Humor

 
Ellen Harmon

Tormented Teen

 
Ellen Harmon

A New Age

 

Ellen G. White

Satan in Disguise

Batman in the

Bat-Cave

Robin lives in Edneyville

Next Stop--Bat Cave!

The JOKER's

Deception Talent

   

THE BLIND PROPHETESS WAS TOTALLY UNABLE TO SEE THE POINT IN JESUS' "HELL JOKES"

  

ELLEN G. WHITE

     QUESTION:  Dear Sister White,

What happens to those who do not accept Christ as their Savior?

    John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that BELIEVETH NOT is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the NAME of the only begotten Son of God."  Condemned to what? Many Bible  texts well known to Christian Evangelists!

CONDEMNED TO BURNING IN HELL FOREVER!

   ELLEN WHITE'S ANSWER: "WHEN THEY DIE, THEY WILL ALL BE SLEEPING IN THEIR GRAVES, THERE TO REMAIN FOR 1000 YEARS, WAITING FOR JESUS AND THE ADVENTISTS IN HEAVEN TO DECIDE THEIR ETERNAL DESTINY!"

    JACK CHICK COMICS

 

    HELL IS PRIMARILY FOR ANGELS THAT SINNED BEFORE NOAH'S GREAT FLOOD (1 PETER 3:19-20), PURGATORY OR "LAKE OF FIRE" IS NOW AWAITING YOU, (REV. 20:14,15) DEPENDING ON WHETHER YOU ARE CATHOLIC OR SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST!  HOWEVER, SATAN GETS SPECIAL TREATMENT, HE GETS TO BURN (SOMEWHERE) DAY AND NIGHT FOREVER AND EVER! (REV. 20:10)

    Matthew 5:21 "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment."

     22 "But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Ra-ca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire."

    28 "---whosover looketh on a woman to LUST AFTER HER hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

    29 "And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee; for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should  perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."    (ONE OF THE "JOKER'S" MANY JOKES!)