Batman and Robin, THE JOKER, and the
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THE HUMOR of JESUS
Most of the World's Population knows little if anything about Jesus Christ and even fewer think of him as a humorist or Comic!
on this page we'll consider some of his
MARY MAGDALENE STORIES AND JOKES
AS THE AUTHOR OF THE GOSPEL OF JOHN MAKES JESUS APPEAR TO BE THE GREEK GOD POSEIDON IN CHAPTER 21 SERVING FRIED FISH TO HIS DISCIPLES --
AND AS THE AUTHOR OF THE GOSPEL OF LUKE ALSO GIVES HIS PARABLE OF RICH MAN'S DESCENT INTO HELL (WHERE POSEIDON WAS THOUGHT TO REIGN) WHILE LAZARUS ASCENDED TO HEAVEN SO ALSO
IN THIS CARTOON STRIP PICTURE OF CAT-WOMAN,
SHE'S ON THE FLOOR IN A PLAYFUL MOOD WITH THE
MOON IN HER BACK-GROUND, A LADY OF THE NIGHT.
AND HERE SHE IS IN ANOTHER TYPICAL POSE WITH
THE NEW YORK CITY (OOPS, GOTHAM) SKYLINE AND
THE BAT-SIGNAL ON THE CLOUD BEHIND HER!
MAGDALENE PLAYS THE ROLE OF AN UNKNOWN
WOMAN "OF THE CITY" (GOTHAM?) ANOINTING
JESUS' FEET WITH AN ALABASTER BOX OF OINTMENT,
AND TEARS, AND DRYING THEM WITH HER HAIR.
ISIS WAS BOTH THE WIFE OF OSIRIS AND MOTHER OF
HORUS IN ANCIENT EGYPTIAN THEOLOGY AND THE THREE
"GODS" MADE UP AN EGYPTIAN DIVINE TRINITY WHICH JESUS
REFERRED TO IN JOHN 3:16 and 17 -- HERE'S ISIS!
AND BELOW IS BATMAN AND THE CAT-WOMAN IN MY MORE MODERN INTERPRETATION OF WHAT A MODERN "LUKE", A MORE MODERN GOSPEL WRITER MIGHT USE AS AN EXAMPLE OF DIVINE BEINGS TRYING TO RELATE TO US HUMANS!
ACTUALLY I HAVE HAD THREE MAJOR WEB-SITES ON THE INTERNET SINCE 1998, HEALTHARK.COM, THEN JESUSINKASHMIR.COM, THEN NEWAGEGOD.COM -- I'VE FEATURED A MARRIED JESUS ON THESE WEB PAGES SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING. SINCE THE ADVENT OF THE DA-VINCI CODE BOOK AND MOVIE BY DAN BROWN IT'S BEEN MUCH EASIER.
ANOTHER OF LUKE'S "JOKES" --
THE ATTEMPTED RAPE OF THE
LED DOWN A GARDEN PATH BY
BLIND PRIESTS AND POPES,
CANNOT TOLERATE A "VISION" OF
"GOD" HAVING SEX WITH
SO SCRIPT-WRITERS ARE GENERALLY FORBIDDEN TO
WRITE IN SCENES IN WHICH BATMAN ("GOD") IS GETTING
IT ON, GETTING "LAID IN THE SHADE", WITH CAT-WOMAN,
(IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT, AS I'M SURE YOU DO.)
ANY SUNDAY-SCHOOL KID OF EITHER SEX AND OF ANY AGE (EVEN UNDER 13) WOULD RECOGNIZE THIS CARTOON AS BEING THE BIBLE HERO JOSEPH RUNNING AWAY FROM "TEMPTATION" IN THE FORM OF POTIPHAR'S WIFE TRYING TO UNDRESS HIM FOR PURPOSES PERHAPS A BIT UNCLEAR TO THOSE UNDER 13.
Genesis 39:1 "And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmaelites, which had brought him down thither."
7 "And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me." Nowadays we might use other more explicit terms, but I'd like to keep this page off the blocked list for children, so I'll not use these other terms.
10 "And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie with her, or to be with her."
12 "And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me; and he left his garment in her hand, and left, and got him out." I think people even nowadays can catch Joseph's drift here also. Doing it with the boss's wife can get you hurt, or even killed! The story finally ends in Joseph's favor, but only because he made the best choices.
Jesus as another Joseph
(Somebody grabbed at his garment also!)
Luke 8:43 "And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could she be healed of any."
Luke 8:44 "Came behind him (Jesus, the Physician), a touched (not "clutched", that would have been too eager and too obvious) the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched."
unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him. and how she was healed immediately." TRY THIS! "I wanted to get pregnant so I could be his legally wedded Essene wife, and here I am, pregnant!
Jesus Raised (Married)
52 "And all wept, and bewailed her: but he said, weep not; she is not dead but sleepeth."
53 "And they laughed him to scorn, knowing that she was dead,"
54 "And he put them all out, (watch this! He's alone with her now. No Peter, James, and John. No father. No mother. It's their wedding night! And Jairus' daughter is MARY MAGDALENE!), and took her by the hand, (and did a few other things, not mentioned here), and called, saying, Maid, arise,"
55 "And her spirit came again, and she arose straightway: and he commanded to give her meat."
56 "And her parents were astonished: but he charged them that they should tell no man what was done."
AND AS FOR YOU REGULAR BATMAN AND CAT-WOMAN COMIC
READERS, YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR YOU NOT
TO IMAGINE THESE TWO IN BED WITH EACH OTHER! AMEN!
THIS IS THE END OF THE
JESUS HUMOR SECTION,
CLICK OTHER CHOICES BELOW!
THE BLIND PROPHETESS WAS TOTALLY UNABLE TO SEE THE POINT IN JESUS' "HELL JOKES"
ELLEN G. WHITE
QUESTION: Dear Sister White,
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that BELIEVETH NOT is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the NAME of the only begotten Son of God." Condemned to what? Many Bible texts well known to Christian Evangelists!
CONDEMNED TO BURNING IN HELL FOREVER!
ELLEN WHITE'S ANSWER: "WHEN THEY DIE, THEY WILL ALL BE SLEEPING IN THEIR GRAVES, THERE TO REMAIN FOR 1000 YEARS, WAITING FOR JESUS AND THE ADVENTISTS IN HEAVEN TO DECIDE THEIR ETERNAL DESTINY!"
JACK CHICK COMICS
HELL IS PRIMARILY FOR ANGELS THAT SINNED BEFORE NOAH'S GREAT FLOOD (1 PETER 3:19-20), PURGATORY OR "LAKE OF FIRE" IS NOW AWAITING YOU, (REV. 20:14,15) DEPENDING ON WHETHER YOU ARE CATHOLIC OR SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST! HOWEVER, SATAN GETS SPECIAL TREATMENT, HE GETS TO BURN (SOMEWHERE) DAY AND NIGHT FOREVER AND EVER! (REV. 20:10)
Matthew 5:21 "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment."
22 "But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Ra-ca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire."
28 "---whosover looketh on a woman to LUST AFTER HER hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
29 "And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee; for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." (ONE OF THE "JOKER'S" MANY JOKES!)